There are points in my life where reality hits hard and I hate them. Luckily, I have been fortunate to only have three of those moments in my life. One was when my friend committed suicide when I was seventeen, two was when our friend's son fell from a balcony and died, and three was last week when Peter Steele died. See last post.
I get why people wonder why I'm so saddened by the passing of someone who I didn't know personally; it's something I wonder myself. However, there are some deaths at times that I find terribly unfair and piss me off for one reason or another. Perhaps it was all the reasoning behind it. If he had died of an overdose or killed himself, I probably wouldn't feel as bad. The music from his band got me through a LOT of bad things in my life including my hospitalization after my epilepsy diagnosis, the aftermath of that, my friend's suicide, and a lot more. So I feel like it was really a big part of my life. Also, he was a nice person. I've met people in the music industry for years and I can tell you that there are a number of them who are assholes. When I met him, he was really nice and had no reason to be. The fact that after getting clean and sober after years of drug abuse his heart failed on him, it freaked me out. It's one of those things that shows me that we can go at any time. As idiotic as it sounds, it just doesn't seem fair. Even my husband was saying that and he never really liked him.
I can't wait until time passes and I can float back into my little fantasy land again where all is well and I'll always see tomorrow. Right now though, I'm just kind of sad. So feel grateful for whatever you have because you could go at any moment.