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19 April 2010 @ 10:39 am
Be grateful for what you have...  

There are points in my life where reality hits hard and I hate them. Luckily, I have been fortunate to only have three of those moments in my life. One was when my friend committed suicide when I was seventeen, two was when our friend's son fell from a balcony and died, and three was last week when Peter Steele died. See last post.

I get why people wonder why I'm so saddened by the passing of someone who I didn't know personally; it's something I wonder myself. However, there are some deaths at times that I find terribly unfair and piss me off for one reason or another. Perhaps it was all the reasoning behind it. If he had died of an overdose or killed himself, I probably wouldn't feel as bad.  The music from his band got me through a LOT of bad things in my life including my hospitalization after my epilepsy diagnosis, the aftermath of that, my friend's suicide, and a lot more.  So I feel like it was really a big part of my life.  Also, he was a nice person. I've met people in the music industry for years and I can tell you that there are a number of them who are assholes. When I met him, he was really nice and had no reason to be. The fact that after getting clean and sober after years of drug abuse his heart failed on him, it freaked me out. It's one of those things that shows me that we can go at any time. As idiotic as it sounds, it just doesn't seem fair. Even my husband was saying that and he never really liked him.

I can't wait until time passes and I can float back into my little fantasy land again where all is well and I'll always see tomorrow. Right now though, I'm just kind of sad. So feel grateful for whatever you have because you could go at any moment.
I feel: apatheticapathetic
I'm listening to: In Praise of Bacchus by Type O Negative
vltavskavltavska on April 19th, 2010 09:31 pm (UTC)
Not a day goes by that I don't think of my friend who died recently. It's getting to the point that I understand that it's true, in my heart as well as my head. But it's still not fair and never will be. :(
I don't wonder why it makes you sad- you're not even the only person on my flist to mention him- but I don't know who he is, I don't know that band. Thus my lack of comment on that entry.
There is tomorrow. x
Lady Mansonladymanson on April 19th, 2010 10:00 pm (UTC)
I honestly didn't think anyone would actually respond to this post, so thank you. :) It is one of those where I make myself feel better by writing down and if anyone responded, it would be cool, but if not, I wouldn't be surprised.

That's cool that you had other people on your list mention him because I know about two other Type O fans in my real life, with a total of probably zero on my LJ. So the only post about him I saw was the one I posted. That makes me pretty happy to hear about that.
Kerri: Dean - evilkaczurda on April 19th, 2010 10:03 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry and I hope you feel better. :( Unfortunately I know the feeling of losing someone - personally, or celebrity - and it is terrible. When Steve Irwin died, I was overcome with immense grief even though he lived very far from where I live and I had never even met him. It's just an unexplainable thing, and people shouldn't criticize other people for feeling something since it is beyond their control.
Lady Manson: spn - Ruby NINladymanson on April 19th, 2010 10:15 pm (UTC)
Isn't that odd how the death of someone we have no real personal tie to can do that? It seems that way to me. I still think when I'm listening to the music that they're going to come out with some new stuff and I'll see them on tour again. I just can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that it will never happen. I looked the band up on Wikipedia this morning and they have a whole section regarding his death now and I was just like, "No, this is just wrong!" I am really happy though that I've still got all the music to listen to. It makes me want to really do something to leave my mark on the world after I die.
CrystalSCcrystalsc on April 20th, 2010 01:28 am (UTC)
You're allowed to feel sad. *hug*
Lady Mansonladymanson on April 20th, 2010 09:14 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you sweetie! :)