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13 September 2010 @ 03:22 pm
Fear of Flying  
I hate this so much...

On Saturday, I am going to Chicago. We are going to see Roger Waters on Monday and Tuesday and are going to spend the weekend just partying it up out there. Sounds fun, right?

Those of you who have read my LJ long enough know what a nut I am about flying. I am TERRIFIED of it. This is great too because my dad is a pilot and loves to give me shit about it. Those that haven't heard this story, last year, I was supposed to go to my husband's sister's wedding in FL and we got as far as onto the actual plane and I broke down crying, shaking, and tore out of the plane. I didn't go. I was literally sick about it. A year earlier, my husband was going to Seattle for a convention and I was tagging along to go see Brandon Lee's grave. We got up to the area where you line up to get on the plane and he was ahead of me. I took that chance to book it out of the gate. My husband saw this nearly had to drag me back to the plane. He got me on the plane and I was belted into my seat SOBBING. The flight attendants were super nice and talking to me to calm me down and next thing I knew, I was landing in Seattle because I worked myself up so much that I passed out.

I have three massive fears that cause this. Claustorphobia, fear of the plane crashing to the earth, and fear of some asshole deciding to bomb us. The first is common, the second is common, and the third is probably not going to happen. I was pretty cool about that fear after the security stuff after 9/11, but then the Christmas bombing attempt happened. And that was not far from me in MN.

For the past month, I have had nightmares about getting on the plane, flying, and having a guy stand up and tell us we were all going to die, only to blow the plane to bits. Yep, good times. These aren't little nightmares either, they are GRAPHIC. To be perfectly honest, I think if that happened, I would actually kill the person before they could do anything. I really do. Not out of a sheer murderous rage, but just out of that whole fight or flight response thing. If I'm afraid for myself, I have been known to do some serious damage to protect myself. It's just the way I am.

I'm actually sweating just writing this because I'm imagining sitting in the seats on the plane. I HATE IT. The only things that got me to San Diego last year was two mg of Xanax (yeah, my seizure meds kick my tolerance up REALLY high) and a bunch of vodka. So on Saturday, my husband is going to have to dope me up for a flight where you basically ascend and then descend. Seriously, Minneapolis to Chicago is ridiculously short. So then I'll be messed up for the rest of the day after that.

I just need some feedback, simply to help me calm down. I am really freaking scared. REALLY SCARED.
I feel: scaredscared
I'm listening to: KQ Morning Show Podcast
Elsie Coolingenwd_den_mum on September 13th, 2010 08:33 pm (UTC)
I hate flying too. In face, we're driving from Colorado to Disneyland this year because I can't fucking stand flying.

But it is a necessary evil sometimes. I watch the stewardesses, flight attendants, whatever you call them. I figure they fly all the time, and as long as they're walking around and doing their jobs and smiling then all is okay, that noise I'm freaked out about is totally normal. Now they start looking scared or worried and Imma loose my shit.

It helps me get through at least.
Lady Mansonladymanson on September 13th, 2010 08:50 pm (UTC)
That's a really good point. I had heard that before, but had totally forgotten about that. I remember I did fly once and was sitting next to where the flight attendants were seated when they didn't walk around. They talked to me the whole time and I was completely fine.

Oh, I sometimes call them stewardesses too and I swear, some people go nuts when they hear that. My dad flies all the time and heard me say that once. You'd think I'd just cursed him out. I don't think the flight attendants really even care, lol. :)
Elsie Coolingenwd_den_mum on September 13th, 2010 09:02 pm (UTC)
Haha. Yeah, don't call them the wrong thing!

Also helps me remember that I have a friend who's husband flew commercial flights for nearly 40 years and he is very alive and enjoying his retirement. He never had a close call even.
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Lady Mansonladymanson on September 13th, 2010 09:02 pm (UTC)
Oh, I already know you can rock the flying. :) I mean, you flew from Australia to the US and then more. I'd love to go to Australia but the idea of flying that long makes me feel sick. If I ever took that flight, I'd have to be out there for at least a month. :)

It's so funny because odds are, once I get to Chicago, I won't need drugs to fly BACK. If I fly and it works out okay, I'm good for a while. But after so long of not doing it, that anxiety builds up.
aruna7 on September 13th, 2010 09:06 pm (UTC)
My favourite part in the flying is the landing, because it means we're finally over. >.>

I'm not utterly stressed by flying, but I tend to panick in silence more than I normally admit. I weirdly can't be next to an exit door because the "responsibility" if there's something happening petrifies me.

I guess that I manage by being plugged to music the whole time and not looking around too much during the flight itself.

Sorry this is not really helping. >.<

Lady Mansonladymanson on September 13th, 2010 09:13 pm (UTC)
Ha, I love the landing too! It's so funny because a lot of people just HATE the landing.
aruna7 on September 13th, 2010 09:17 pm (UTC)
*feels less alone!*

Landing = end of flight. That's enough to make me happy seriously.
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Princess Robot Bubblegum!astrothsknot on September 13th, 2010 09:29 pm (UTC)
I think the best thing you can do is to familiarise yourself with all the safety information beforehand - such as there's track lighting on the ceiling and floor ICE, count the number of seats on the plane between the emergency doors, imagine undoing the buckle of a seat belt, because in an emergency you'll revert to the car seatbelt that's familiar and plane seatbelts are different,don't inflate the life jacket until you're outside the plane or you'll be stuck in it.

I find running through worst case senarios helps me tremendously, because I'm facing the fear, as well as setting myself to act quickly in emergencies. My poor son is made to walk around every new place we stay in the dark so he can get out in a fire.

And never stay in a room above the 6th floor. fire engine ladders only go that high.
turquoisetumult: [Dollhouse] Victor/Sierraturquoisetumult on September 13th, 2010 10:22 pm (UTC)
I am scared of flying too (for pretty much all the same reasons except claustrophobia), so I don't know how much of a comfort I will be to you.

I was going to suggest to take some anxiety meds, but it looks like you've got it covered which it. Another thing that helped me when I went to Chicago was listening to music and reading. Just don't think about the bumps and all that - I know that it scared me shitless when I noticed it, so just try to distract yourself as much as possible.

*hugs* I'll be thinking of you and hoping that you have a great and stress-free flight! (Also, it's not like you're going to Europe! The flight from MN to IL should be a short one!!)