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13 October 2010 @ 04:01 pm
Sad real life entry...  
The job that I tried to get I failed at. I just got the call saying I didn't get it. The hard part about this is that if I couldn't get this one, I can't get any. I mean, I had EVERY single qualification needed for it and more. It was basically doing the same job I do now, with the same company and all the same people, except at a different location.

So now I completely fucked. We can't hardly pay for our house now having $4000 worth of late fees to pay. And bear in mind that those are JUST the late fees. We actually did pay the payment, but it was a week later because that is when we got paid. Now, we won't be able to pay for it at all, so we're going to end up losing our house.

Secondly, I will no longer be able to get my medication because without insurance, it costs $500 a month. I'm an epileptic. The last seizure I had nearly killed me.

Now you may be asking yourselves with all the funding in the government and that crap, why can't I just apply for that? Becuase 'on paper', it looks like my husband makes over $100K a year. That's because his business makes over a million dollars every year. The fucked up government sees all that as income and doesn't take into account things like payroll, rent, utilities, and all the other loads of business expenses. He pays over $10K a month in taxes alone, but they don't take that into account. In reality, he brings in less a month than I do, which is under $2000. When the government sees that, they deny funding because it looks like you can pay for it yourself.

And finally, my damn student loan payments are due to come up. I won't be able to pay those either.

Honestly, if it wasn't for the fact that I would owe back the $10K the company paid for my schooling if I left early, I'd get up and leave right now. I have no desire to do anything here or even care anymore. It's all bullshit. Now I have nothing more to do but look forward to losing my house, having my seizures, and becoming incredibly suicidal again due to the lack of my anti-depressants. This fucking sucks.
I'm: here
I feel: enragedenraged
I'm listening to: KQ Morning Show Podcast
aruna7 on October 13th, 2010 10:53 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry to hear all of that.

*hugs you tightly*

I'll pray that things get better for you, hon. I'm sorry I can't do more.
vamplover85vamplover85 on October 13th, 2010 10:55 pm (UTC)
eh that' sucks hon. I know how that is. My parents just bought a new house and addition to that with the updgrades to do like the flooring and stuff.....it cost them a bundle and now they are beyond broke. It sucks not to have enough money to do things that you want to do. It really does. You have seizures every now and than? Eee...I hope it doesn't come back sweetie need to keep sane! *hugs* I understand. (I do have problems too.) though take a deep breath and do anything that calms you down. *hugs*
Kerri: Lost | Sawyerkaczurda on October 14th, 2010 01:57 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry. :( *hug*

Is there anywhere else you know of where you could apply for a position? Even if it's just any full-time job, it would still help, right? *sigh*

I really hope something works out for you & your husband. I'll keep you in my thoughts. *hug*
Dana: Scoobies - After Life Hug [txtless]dana_chosenart on October 14th, 2010 07:12 am (UTC)
*pulls in and hugs tightly*
I'm so sorry to hear about all this, I know there's nothing I can say that'll make it any better. But isn't there a chance that you can get a job at another company, the same kind of position? I mean, this company can't be the only one around.. can it? Maybe check in near-by towns/cities as well to broaden the chance to find another company w/ your position. And if you can't find that, try just finding any kind of job that you can do and take that to hold you over until you find a new one that is perfect for your qualifications. I don't know how it works in the states but here you can get an extension on paying back student loans if you're unable to pay for them in the present time.

I know it's easy for me to sit here and say all this and whatnot but I've been there. I couldn't pay for anything for over a year because I didn't have a job and the help I was getting from the government wasn't enough to pay for rent, bills and not to mention food and medicine... it's not fun but if things end up there, it can only go one way then - up!

Also, please don't die *hugs*