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21 March 2011 @ 03:08 am
Late night entries...  
 Real life post.  Good and kind of bad stuff.  Feel free to skip.
Okay, I would put this under a cut but I can't cuz LJ is being a little pain right now...

First off, all you people who recommended music to me, again, THANK YOU!  It's so funny, I sometimes feel strange listening to instrumental and opera and that sort of stuff in my car, but a lot of those recommendations will be going in there as well.  Ever since I was driving back home from a Rage Against the Machine show with the top down on my car with the soundtrack to A Clockwork Orange blasting (it's almost all Beethoven) and had some guy in a car next to me ask what arrangement it was, I haven't cared.

Moving on, I lost consciousness today.  My husband was at a hockey game and I had just gotten off the phone with my mom.  I was going to open a can of corn, set it on the counter to go get the can opener out of the drawer, and came to on the kitchen floor.   I'm pretty sure it wasn't a seizure because with my seizures, I have this amnesia that lasts about fifteen  minutes (I don't remember ANYTHING - my name, phone numbers, addresses, nothing) and I get real sick and feel really euphoric.  Not to mention the pain because I usually thrash a lot and knock my skull and other body parts around.  Last time I bit off part of my tongue and hit my head so hard that one of my contacts came out.  I came to the conclusion that I must have simply passed out.  I'm on my period and have been known to do that before, but the last time was about ten years ago.  So yeah, that made for a fun evening.  
To help bring up the mood, I got an email from General Electric saying  that I was in the running for consideration for a lead accountant in their financial reporting group.  It's more money than I used to get and it's much closer to home.  Plus, IT'S A JOB!   So here's hoping...
Last night, my husband was out for a photo shoot and I wanted to go see the movie "I Saw the Devil" (see trailer HERE), but it was only playing at one of our independent theathers (The Lagoon) and it was only playing at 8, so I couldn't wait for him to get home.  The problem with The Lagoon is it is in Uptown where I really hate to drive and the stupid place and its parking only accept cash and checks, which I don't have.   I purposely don't have a PIN number on my check card because the thing would have no money on it if I did.  Anyhow, I knew the movie had been released on DVD in Korea already, so I looked it up and found the mkv file somewhere, only to find out it had no subtitles and I couldn't play it on my Playstation cuz it doesn't play mkv files.  So I had to find and synch up the subs and finally I gave up on trying to change the file type and burn it because nothing was working and just watched it on my laptop.  

Please bear in mind that this is a very violent disturbing film.  It's just harsh, but in a way that  I felt was necessary for the flow of the story.  It's about a man whose girlfriend is killed by a madman and he seeks revenge.  If any of you have seen the film "Oldboy", the man who played the protaganist in that film plays the killer in this one.  So it's a complete one eighty.  And he does a GREAT job at acting like a psycho.  You just hate him when you watch the film.  But I really liked it.  It's not at all happy because it shows the real monstrous side of humans, whether it be in the character of the killer or the one who is seeking vengeance.  Despite its brutality, I think its one of the best movies I've seen in quite a while.  Highly recommend it.
So I'll be taking my husband to see it at The Lagoon tomorrow because he refuses to watch movies on the computer.  Plus, the one at The Lagoon is the unrated one and I got the cut one last night.  Like that wasn't enough, but curiosity looms.  
So I'm listening to "Disintegration" by The Cure.  LOVE this album.  But I feel like I'm in a Bret Easton Ellis novel when I listen to it.  So I was on Tumblr a while back and all  I was doing was reblogging and posting Bret Easton Ellis stuff.  So I'm in Bret Easton Ellis mode.  That just means I need to write cuz he's my writing muse.  The man needs to write another book like, NOW.  I read "Imperial Bedrooms" in about three days.  Oh, and I LOVE the people who bitched about that novel.  It's the sequel to "Less Than Zero" for God's sake!  Like the characters are suddenly going to all grow a moral compass?  Ranting...
It''s three in the morning.  My hours are so fucked up ever since the layoff.  No wonder I passed out.  My body hasn't been the same in months.

And to everyone on my friends list, thank you so much for your kind words over the past few months on everything, whether it be PMs or even just commenting on art.  I have had a very difficult time emotionally since being laid off and doing things like art for you guys has helped keep my mind off that evil part of me telling me I'm worthless.  Just knowing you guys are out there is SO nice, regardless of how much you know it.  So, THANK  YOU.
I feel: hornyhorny
I'm listening to: Pictures of You by The Cure
(Deleted comment)
vltavskavltavska on March 21st, 2011 11:21 am (UTC)
Feel hugged! <3
ehlwyen: cordymasq-redehlwyen on March 21st, 2011 02:33 pm (UTC)
YAY serious job lead!!! Good luck!!! *hugs* So scary about the passing out! Hopefully it isn't indicative of anything and won't happen for another 10 years.

Jaq ( jack) Batemanzs1985 on March 21st, 2011 04:43 pm (UTC)
ouch, hugs;
sorry you had an atttack, thats horrible, I really wish you well and I will be thinking of you when I listen to the thing reminded you of bret., and if I listen to the clock work orange soundtrack too.
I worte your wallpaper you made me I still can;t get enough of on a light note.. and in turn I wish you well and hope that you don't have another painful moment. , love you very much glad you're ok,. honestly I cannot imagine what you go through but all I ever wish for my friends is that they are alright,.

take ery good care of yourself.
Love, J.
oanaspnoanaspn on March 21st, 2011 05:11 pm (UTC)
Gosh! I am so sorry about your health problems, can't imagine what you're going trough. I have some health problems of my own but nothing so serious lie you have xoxo. My sleep patterns are weird to, i fall asleep only at 3 or 4 in the morning...o.o. I hope you'll get the job, i need one to:). Enjoy the movie and stay safe
zanaoctoberland on March 21st, 2011 05:17 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry you passed out. :( But I just wanted to say that so much of what's in this post reminds me of why I like you so much even though we don't talk a lot. Thanks for sticking around my flist and good luck with the job!
Kerri: Supernatural | Brotherskaczurda on March 22nd, 2011 03:14 am (UTC)
All the best for the job! *crosses fingers*

Hm... I Saw The Devil sounds like something I would definitely like. I'll be on the lookout for it! :D

That's so scary, just passing out and not knowing why. I hope nothing like that happens again! I really hope you feel better, you're not worthless and you are an incredibly talented artist and beautiful person. :D *hug*
Annie: E&B huganniehunnam85 on March 22nd, 2011 05:01 am (UTC)
Tracy, I'm sorry to hear that you passed out. Sounds scary! *hugs*
Oh, and good luck with the job!
Dennissedennycullenlutz on March 22nd, 2011 05:33 am (UTC)
awwww babe i just wish you feel better!!! I had a friend who had seizures and she was just like you... it was really worrying seeing her trashing on the floor.

*fingers crossed* That job is yours!! :)