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19 June 2009 @ 10:25 am
So freaking scared...  

I have to fly down to Miami on Thursday for my sister in law's wedding and am so freaked out that I actually feel physically ill. I have been looking up stats for the odds of a plane crash, the odds of dying in and plane crash, and more, but nothing is helping. I cannot fly; it sucks. Being in the US, we have that whole worry of a rerun of 9/11, but I have a feeling that if anyone attempted that again, the passengers would probably take the people down before the air marshals got a chance. I can't see it going over well. No one wants to see that happen again, whether you're an American or not. So that isn't what I worry about. I worry about stupid things like human error, weather conditions, and stuff like that. My worst nightmare is plummeting from miles up in the sky to the ground. So technically, I'm not afraid of flying; I'm afraid of falling. Very far.

The last time I was on an airplane was when I flew back from Comic Con last year from LAX to Minneapolis, but it was incredibly relaxing because it was a midnight flight and I was the only one awake on the plane, reading. Yes, I was the asshole with the little light on while everyone tried to sleep. :-) No one cared, they were sleepy. That one hit some really severe turbulence, but I was fine. I just get scared when I haven't flown in a long time. Scared to the point of when we went to Seattle, the flight to go was called and I bolted out of the gate, through the airport. My husband caught me and dragged me on, bawling my eyes out. I cried so hard that I passed out before the plane even took off and woke up in Seattle. I've tried to get stuff to put me to sleep on flights, but I can't because of my seizure meds. If I mix pretty much anything that makes me sleepy, that includes cough medicine, it's like mixing meth. I go psycho. My doctor described what would happen would basically get me locked up for a weekend because I'd be tweaking out so badly. I did it once and it was BAD. Hallucination bad.

The worst of all this is that my dad is a private pilot. I only fly calmly if he is flying because I know that he wouldn't let anything happen to me. That, and I have seen him do an emergency landing cuz I rode in the plane when he was learning to fly. He flies very well. But he gives me such crap about being scared to fly. I also love the little tiny planes, but hate the big ones. So many people find that odd because it usually goes the other way. I like to see what is going on though, which I can't do in the back of a big plane. I just have to trust the pilots know what to do and everything is okay. My claustrophobia has a lot to do with this too, I think. When I am in planes like the airbuses, where the rows are bigger, I'm not as scared.

Ugh, I may have to cancel my trip. I feel like crap.  Oh, god, I just realized the 'scared' mood on my LJ is of Dean terrified of a plane crashing!!!

I feel: scaredscared
I'm listening to: KQ Morning Show Playback
Christie: dean {spn} fear of flyingficbitch82 on June 19th, 2009 05:43 pm (UTC)
Oh, this SUCKS honey.

Up until last week, I was the same - absolutely TERRIFIED. Didn't help that one of our channels was re-running Phantom Traveller before I left, either. I pretty much did everything you did, looked up statistics on the net - panicked until the point I thought I was really gonna cancel the holiday.

I ended up going but I hated flying the first time - I guess it was fear of the unknown and all. I'm sorta okay with it now. Didn't feel as sick on the plane ride home!

You've flown, so you know what it's like... But that doesn't help at all. Nor does people saying, "oh, you'll be fine!" Or people telling you this in your journal. :-/ Sorry!

I hope you don' have to cancel your trip, though! *hugs you*
Lady Manson: spn - drunk jessladymanson on June 19th, 2009 07:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you! You're the first person to say that no matter how many people say, 'You'll be fine," it's not going to help. My husband has been saying that all day. I'm like, "No! Odds are, I'll be fine, but you don't KNOW that."

He's making sure I stock up on books. Coming back from Comic Con, I was calm because I was completely lost in a book. I read a 500 page book on the flight home. And I have the Sookie Stackhouse books to read, the Mortal Instruments, and Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, so he's making sure to pack them into my carry on.

This is coming from a guy who flies about 20 times a year, versus me, who has flown maybe six times in my life. :-)

Thanks for your post. It's always nice to hear from other people with this fear. We need to band together! :-) And I need to swipe that icon, cuz it's awesome.
Christie: {spn} humming metallica calms meficbitch82 on June 19th, 2009 07:48 pm (UTC)
I had to keep saying that to my family. I was so sick of hearing people say "you'll love it, you'll be fine!" before I left. And this was from people who'd never been on a plane, either! I was like... WHAT?! LOL.

And okay, the odds ARE that you're going to be fine. But, hell, you know that. You've SAID that. It's called fear - might be irrational at times, but it's bloody real.

Distraction is good, actually. When I was on the plane? I was staring in absolute horror at the seat in front of me which had all the 'if things should go wrong and you crash horribly' information. I think if I hadn't had my iPod and the ability to close my eyes? I'd have leapt off right away, lol.

And oooh, Mortal Instruments! VERY good distraction! ;) Also a good distraction? Hitting hubby over the head with it when you've finished, you don't have the next book to hand and whoops, there goes your distraction. *G* (This could be the reason I'm not married, no? ;)

And you are so welcome. :) We need to stick together on this, LOL. And the icon is by the super-talented annesaname. So, so fitting! :)

Edited at 2009-06-19 07:49 pm (UTC)
Princess Robot Bubblegum!astrothsknot on June 19th, 2009 07:59 pm (UTC)
You need to see the BBC Horizon programme, How T Survive A Disaster It's full of stuff like book your seat within 7 seats of an exit, count the seats, don't open your life jacket until you're out the plane, don't book a room over the sixth floor because that's how high most ladders on fire engines go.

I always plan for the worst and if it never happens, so I'm golden, and if it does, I've drilled myself how to react, so i'm golden
winchesterwomanwinchesterwoman on June 20th, 2009 01:57 am (UTC)
DUDE! Are you afraid to fallen? hahahaha. You are DEAD BEFORE YOU FALL! you just die in a second and don´t know a thing. If there is any turbulence well...Maybe it is just thing of minutes ( if the plane crash) to die. Maybe you are afraid of the death. not to fall. Anyway. The statics say that it is the best safe way to travel! hahahahah. So. Go go to the wedding and bring a piece of cake to me!!! and some pics to share! HAHAHAHAHA. YOU are not Dean. Just don´t get win to fear. because it can be make you crazy. That is fine. if the death across of your path, well it was your time. If the plane crash you can surivive, like all those people from the plane that landed in the Hudson. or maybe you can be the 11 survive to a crash like one woman in the barajas crazh in spain with just a brokem leg. and 195 peple dead heheheheh.

GO GO GO GO DON´T GET SCARE OF THINGS LIKE THAT. If one hijacker want to do something bad with your plane, think in it: you will be a hero you fight for your country! hehehehehe

SEEE you