Lady Manson (ladymanson) wrote,
Lady Manson

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Cancer sucks

Ugh, I'm totally freaked out.

On Friday I am going to the doctor to find out whether this lump I have on my neck is cancerous. I'm going a bit crazy and wishing I could just go and get it over with, but my doctor is backed up until then. I found it about two weeks back, but we figured it may be a bug bite or a whitehead or something. Then it didn't go away. It doesn't help that there has been a ton of cancer in the women in my family. I already have inactive cancer cells in another area of my body, I don't need this. The great thing is that it's not really if I have it that I am worried about. I'm worried about getting it and then having to possibly stop taking my pills for my seizures and depression if they clash with any meds I would take then. If I go off my seizure meds, I need to monitored around the clock, sleep with pillows around the bed in case I have a seizure in my sleep, can't drive (obviously) and can't go to work. Luckily, I took out a long-term disability leave option when I first started at work in case anything bad would ever happen, so I would get 80% of my normal check, but still, it would not be good. Then I have to imagine telling my husband and my family about this.

Just needed to write this down to get it out. I'm just going nuts right now.

Cancer sucks.

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